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19 July 2008 @ 03:00 pm
I'm tired of feeling this pathetic. I'm tired of wallowing as a shut-in and feeling compelled to leave entries about how I feel on some online forum (which is really no better than writing it on a bathroom wall.)
I'm tired of this masochistic attitude that forces me to refuse treatment, even the fun sort. I'm tired of this attitude that in being some dysthymic, dysphoric, half-talented hack artist that I'm somehow unique from the other 800 same in this city. I'm tired of holding my talents in one hand and my faults in the other. I'm tired of holding rulers up to everyone I meet.

But you know what? I'm happy nobody knows my name, that I've pushed so many people away from me, that my "friendslist" is ridiculously short. I'm happy that I care more about beauty than politics, and I'm happy that I'm from a line of corn-planting philistines...

I'm ready for the absurd, the unspeakable, the monstrosities of humankind that are lurking about behind this strange, straight city. There's no use in existing without first existing, and that's all I want. I demand to be of little to no use to anyone.
Do you hear that, Ottawa? I'm contributing absolutely nothing to your bloody culture, but I'm going to take it all and run with it.

...Now if only I'd been born that boy, I would be brave enough for the follow-through.
Current Location: Nowhere, Upper Canada
Current Mood: lonelythe mirror keeps lying
Current Music: Syntax- Message
15 July 2008 @ 09:10 am
I want to look at artwork created by an art-school graduate made within the last ten years that doesn't look like well-colored fanart to Klasky Csupo. I wish that style would die, already.

I also wish my nights weren't sleepless and filled with worrying about graduate school, gallery shows, and debts; I've tried that whole "putting your troubles in a box for tomorrow" bs, but it's a very loud box waiting out there in the hallway.

And third, if it was possible, I would like to change places with my cat. I could definitely spend my afternoons drinking bottled water, lounging on the sofa, and only worrying about if today was for Duck or Pheasant. Even that little scratching post looks inviting.

Now, for something nicer..Collapse )
Current Mood: tiredso, very , tired
Current Music: Silence as to not wake the Husband
20 June 2008 @ 10:33 pm
Just a quick note.. my entry for F_M is awaiting editing, but will be uploaded tomorrow due to a small kitty with an upset tummy on my lap. ;)
07 June 2008 @ 12:13 pm
Madames et Monsieurs, I forgive you.
I understand it is difficult dragging someone from a time distant into ours, especially from a time of decreased sexual morals and a somewhat more liberal attitude towards the subject matter, and trying to tell their story to an audience that may contain conservative viewers...and that offending certain bigoted mouthbreathers may damage your reputation and need for monetary gain.

I also understand that while heterosexual sex scenes are considered necessary for the most part to cement the seriousness of a relationship in films, while same sex/multiple sex scenes are still unfortunately and unfairly labeled as pornography (and would relegate your films to the back shelf of the video store.) And that choosing to omit or underplay this sexuality to concentrate on other aspects of our beloveds life is sadly necessary if you wish to reach a wider audience. I can accept that.

But please for the love of the gods, do not end the plot that has been oozing latent bisexual eroticism from its very pores since the whole thing began with a blazing reinforcement of heteronormality. It feels like an apology, reinforces the belief that Married With Children is life's true calling - !to the exclusion of any other purpose!, and that bisexuality is merely "playing around"..

...it broke my happy.

PS: Okay, okay.. I find it sweet that you included the children. That was creative, and cute. I am not against the idea of adding them in there. Dysfunctional families are fun. But STILL.
Current Mood: sillyonly half-serious
10 May 2008 @ 01:13 pm
"So ours may well be called the Age of Makeshift..shoddy is King"

I need this documentaryCollapse )
Current Location: whee
08 May 2008 @ 01:39 pm
Art, Really?


I remembered I own some pens.
In other news, my internet is scarcely working.
Tags: ,
Current Location: Purple Room
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Amadeus Amadeus
03 May 2008 @ 11:36 am
Today the artist is dying for beauty, pushing flat blades through the skin between the bones. He slowly carves himself away; bit by bit pieces of flesh fall to the floor like wet clay. When done he presents himself as the marble faun, or perhaps the Age of Bronze (Rodin).


“I’m only afraid of nothing”, he whispers as the door swings closed. In an infinite room full of darkness they stand alone but for a dozen others. Warm lips press against his throat. It could have been anyone. Nobody looks at each other when a guard opens the door again.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
Current Music: Tycho
03 May 2008 @ 10:43 am
I'm going to try to avoid pacing around the house today, worrying about things that haven't happened yet. So I will give you South Africa's William Kentridge animation. We saw the amazing "What will come" * yesterday at the National Gallery. Most of his work is smudgy and grey and thoughtful, and it is just that kind of day.

VideoCollapse )

*The main work of the exhibition, the filmic anamorphosis “What Will Come,” draws on the idea of the picture puzzle that originated in the sixteenth century. Kentridge translates this play with perception that operates with distorted images that can only be deciphered from a certain angle to his film. The technique of cylinder mirror anamorphosis he employs is a special form of anamorphosis that is based on the addition of a further level of perception. It is not enough to change one’s point of view but a special seeing machine is essential to decode the picture: a cylindrical mirror with a certain radius that reflects the distorted image, “straightening” it “optically.” Producing such complicated distorted pictures requires a profound knowledge of mathematical rules and optical foundations. Relying on a special graphic grid, the preparatory sketch is transferred to the anamorphotic mode segment by segment, and the curvature of the
mirror that is to correct the distortion has to be precisely calculated. - Städel Museum, 10 May 2007

Enjoy. There should be content from myself soon. I promise.
Current Location: Batcave
Current Mood: numbnumb
Current Music: Lascia ch'io pianga
27 April 2008 @ 11:50 am

[As once the winged energy of delight]

As once the winged energy of delight
carried you over childhood's dark abysses,
now beyond your own life build the great
arch of unimagined bridges.

Wonders happen if we can succeed
in passing through the harshest danger;
but only in a bright and purely granted
achievement can we realize the wonder.

To work with Things in the indescribable
relationship is not too hard for us;
the pattern grows more intricate and subtle,
and being swept along is not enough.

Take your practiced powers and stretch them out
until they span the chasm between two
contradictions...For the god
wants to know himself in you.


It's old news, but I can't stop watching this.Collapse )
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
24 April 2008 @ 07:59 pm

Current Mood: calmcalm